How to Tell People You Have Cancer

How do I prepare for a cancer conversation?

It is normal to feel an array of emotions from sadness to anger to bewilderment when you receive a cancer diagnosis. Try your best to accept all your feelings and remember that how and when you tell your loved ones is your decision. This can be a very sad and uncomfortable time for you and the people in your life. They may be visibly upset at the news, and you may feel as though you are burdening them with this news.

Managing your emotions and the emotional reactions of other people when you first tell them about your cancer may be difficult. Take it slow, put yourself first, and talk to people at your own pace. Remember–the people in your life care about you and will want to help support you during this time.

Make a plan

Before starting the conversation with family and friends, you can think about how much information you would like to share and with whom. There may be people you do not tell about your cancer at all or there may be people who you want to count on for support in sharing what you are going through and how you feel. Start by creating a list of people you may want to tell first; these people are likely your biggest sources for support and care during this time. Decide what information you want to share with them like what kind of cancer you have, what kind of cancer treatment you may need, and what your prognosis is.

Have the conversation

Once you have decided on who you want to tell and what information to share, you can determine who you may want to tell in person and who you may want to communicate with in writing, like an email. It may become exhausting to repeat the information to many different people, so you may want to consider a group email or assigning someone close to you as a spokesperson who can share updates about your progress. It is important to share how you feel with those closest to you, so they can help support you emotionally during this time. You may need to be ready to hear about how they feel about the news as well.

Telling your co-workers

When considering telling people you work with about your cancer diagnosis, think about how much they need to know. You may need to disclose that you are going through a medical issue to your supervisor or your company's Human Resources department if you need to take time off or ask for a reduced workload.

How and when you tell co-workers is up to you. You may not want to tell anyone at all, or you could tell some of your colleagues in a group through email or a brief statement in a meeting. That way, everyone has a basic understanding of what is going on with you and perhaps they can even support you at work while you go through cancer treatment. There is no right way to do this; it will depend on how you feel and what kind of environment you work in.